From my friend Jim Harper, raconteur extraordinaire in Tampa, comes this slightly modified tall tale, which he posted on Facebook and agreed to let me share here. Thanks, Jim. And … ba-da-bing!
Locals need no introduction to Gasparilla. But for the rest you, it’s Tampa’s version of Mardi Gras — only with pirates. Along with ribald revelry along the parade route, there are parties galore in the neighborhoods nearby. They start in the morning. Alcohol fuels the day.
I’d like to share my own experience as a cautionary tale. After my fourth Gasparilla party yesterday — and who knows how many bloody marys, beers, rum punches and such — I had just enough sense to know I was over the limit.
So I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a bus home.
Sure enough, there was a police roadblock checking for drunken drivers on the way. But, since we were a bus, they waved us past. I arrived home safely and without incident.
This was both a relief and a surprise because I had never driven a bus before. I don’t even know where I got it. And, now that it’s parked behind my condo, I don’t know what to do with it either.
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